you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
