I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
