This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
