Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
