i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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