There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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