It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
