Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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