if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
