found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
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you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
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Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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