I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
