Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
