Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
