So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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