Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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