Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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