Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
