That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
