I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
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