Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I love having hate sex.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
