I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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