I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
