Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
