The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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