My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
