An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
