Can Purell be used as lube?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
