Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
