I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
