5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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