she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
