Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
