Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
