Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
