he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
