nutella sex= disaster
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
