i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
there was a trapeze. enough said
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
