Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
