First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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