went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
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Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
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So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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