Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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