but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
