Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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