im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Mom said you looked used
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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