yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He passed out mid-signature
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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