is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
40s are totally the cure
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
