Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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