it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
