So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
