so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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