Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize