i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
