Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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