The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
