she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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