we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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