she was so not down for the gang bang
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize