I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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