I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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