the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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