Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
false alarm. still invincible.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
